After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
