Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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