we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
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Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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