so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
