The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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