I want to have your abortion
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
