my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
