This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
