New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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