Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Your cock deserves a montage
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
