i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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