she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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