I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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