I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
