She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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