you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
