I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
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It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
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