Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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