He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
