When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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