You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
