Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
