My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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