Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
