i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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