Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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