You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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