We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
