I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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