You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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