K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
and you fell through a lawn chair
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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