I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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