The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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