I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
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Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
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My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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