apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
