Where is the hickey?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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