do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
