I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
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