I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
