His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
