In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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