I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
