and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
