oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
His hands were made for my vagina.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
