i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize