Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
