Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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