I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
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