can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
