Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
