That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
