sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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