If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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