Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Randomize
