I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
