he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
