I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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