if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
