Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
too bad you live with your parents still
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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