Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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